idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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