I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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