its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
