It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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