she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
