I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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