I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
