Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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