Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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