he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
