Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
