she was so not down for the gang bang
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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