I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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