so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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