New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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