I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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