I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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