i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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