lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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