marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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