I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
