I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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