i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My dick has a subreddit
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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