i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
