I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
