you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
