she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
