But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
