I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
