Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
