When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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