Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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