i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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