my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
