No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
