I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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