im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
