she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
