He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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