Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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