There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
