So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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