i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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