I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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