You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
