Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Im just a social blackout drinker.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
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