If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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