I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
