there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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