I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
