I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I think people are normalizing furries
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
