So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
