just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
