He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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