what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
