halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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