i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
