What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
