How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
